Dear Weekend Warriors,
It's Monday again. Tomorrow we'll begin the third week of our campaign to make Super Troopers 2 the biggest, best, funniest movie you've ever seen. Or at least the best Super Troopers movie you've ever seen.
A few updates for you.
You've been sending us a mountain of tweets, Facebook messages and emails, and while we haven't had time to respond to all of them, we really like hearing from you. If this Indiegogo campaign has been an avalanche, your messages are the warm, loyal Saint Bernard with a barrel of life-saving water around its neck, finding your way through the snow to save our lives.
Speaking of avalanches: we know we've been sending a lot of updates. There's a lot to tell you this month – probably too much – and we need your help to spread the word! But you're also our best friends and benefactors, so we don't want to piss you off. So, if you're in the .0001%* of contributors who want to hear from us less, you're in luck! (We're hurt, but you're in luck.)
*This is not a verified statistic. We're guessing.
1. We're upgrading your UPDATES.
We don't want to spam you with email you don't want. Starting today, we've moved our full updates over here to brokenlizard.com. From now on, Indiegogo updates will just give you the 30-second highlight reel.
If you still want to read the longer updates which we painstakingly sit in the dark each night and write by hand in our own blood, before transferring them to the interweb, because WE LOVE YOU THAT MUCH, they're right here. Because that's what penpals do for friends who help them make movies. They keep writing.
Moving updates to brokenlizard.com also lets us have BETTER DISCUSSIONS. Now you can comment on each update and tell us your innermost thoughts. Or which jokes you liked. Or what you want to see more of. Whatever. We're just tired of talking to ourselves and want you to be able to talk back. Thoughts?
2. We're upgrading the ADVANCE SCREENINGS.
We're getting lots of questions about the ADVANCE SCREENING TOUR. We did one of these when we released Super Troopers and it was f***ing amazing and got to meet tons of you. We want to do it again.
Here's the deal:
- We want you to have the chance to see Super Troopers 2 before everyone else.
- About 4-6 weeks before it comes out, we're doing a nationwide tour: 9 cities and counting!
- A few of us will come show you the movie, tell stories from set and answer questions.
- We'll pay for popcorn and drinks and we'll give you kick-ass swag we'll design just for this.
- After the movie, we'll do a private hangout somewhere nearby, just for contributors.
- We'll thank you in person, sign your underwear (or posters), take selfies, whatever.
So, do you want to see Super Troopers 2 before your dumb friends and come get a beer with us afterward? Don't be stupid. Of course you do. If you live near any of these places, you can get tickets right now:
- Austin, TX
- Boston, MA
- Burlington, VT
- Chicago, IL
- Los Angeles, CA
- Minneapolis, MN
- New York City, NY
- San Francisco, CA
- Seattle, WA
(Oh, and Burlington? Come on. We added a Vermont advanced screening because we have a rich history with you guys, but you're embarrassing yourselves. Come to the screening! That's an order!)
3. We've DROPPED PRICES for Cannabis Cup® + major perks!
In other news:
When your fans show up big time and help you raise your first $2 million in just 24 hours, you maybe start thinking you're in high demand. Maybe when you add more perks, you price them too high. Maybe it turns out that 25,000 people don't want to see your bare butts, even for a measly $1. Lesson learned.
But we do want to make sure you're able to grab some of our favorite perks, so we've slashed some prices.
CANNABIS CUP®: The CHIMPO Experience
GET IT NOW: $200 (w/o tickets)
GET IT NOW: $1000 (w/o tickets)
SHOOT A PULLOVER SCENE WITH US
SET VISITS & LUNCH
KEEP THE CHICKENF**KER VAN
KEEP THE BULLETPROOF JOCKSTRAP
KEEP THE BEARF*CKER COSTUME
GET IT NOW: $50,000
That's enough for a Monday.
But, wait: one more thing. We haven't checked in on Farva since Friday, and it looks like he has a visitor! Ready to meet a hot chick? Here she is:
Ever notice how you never see Farva and his sister in the same place? Why is that?
You people are da bomb.
Help us overcome the Mondays and spread joy in the world.
Just share this gem on Facebook or Twitter RIGHT MEOW:
HUGE PRICE DROP: meet up w @brokenlizard at #CannabisCup in Denver NEXT MONDAY for just $100/person. Details here: bit.ly/st2potfest